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[Brows crease in concern,]
That often...?
['Why didn't you say anything' is on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't say it. Duh, of course.]
That often...?
['Why didn't you say anything' is on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't say it. Duh, of course.]
Not-- that often.
Enough to be distracting sometimes, when I'm not expecting it.
Enough to be distracting sometimes, when I'm not expecting it.
So when you're in a bad brain space?
[Quietly,]
I guess-- I was just so glad you were back that I never... asked how you were dealing with that being in your head.
[Quietly,]
I guess-- I was just so glad you were back that I never... asked how you were dealing with that being in your head.
[there's a bit of a snarky smile there, the shift a betrayal of how much he doesn't want to talk about this.]
It's fine. That was the important part, right? Getting back. And you already saw everything that happened.
It's fine. That was the important part, right? Getting back. And you already saw everything that happened.
Edited 2020-06-28 09:36 (UTC)
[He turns his head enough to take Jason's face in with his eyes,]
S'not the most important part. That should be-- you being okay.
I did see it, so... I should've known you're not. No one could be.
S'not the most important part. That should be-- you being okay.
I did see it, so... I should've known you're not. No one could be.
Erasing bad memories. Bad End dying.
...Wanting to be there for you.
...Wanting to be there for you.
Erasing bad memories was a thought based of what I did for you, jackass.
And Bad End hasn't died. Not since Betrayal. I'd know, I've been to every single game.
Remember when my leg got fucked up? That's the worst we've gotten. Compared to you guys.
[he lowers his head-- trying to focus.]
[he lowers his head-- trying to focus.]
[he shifts to cover his eyes.]
It was three weeks ago, I'm fine.
It was three weeks ago, I'm fine.
[Nice try, listing all these things to distract him.
Nero wraps an arm around Jason's shoulders, and gently leans his head against his. Close enough to still hear when he murmurs,]
Three weeks is barely anything, dumbass.
Nero wraps an arm around Jason's shoulders, and gently leans his head against his. Close enough to still hear when he murmurs,]
Three weeks is barely anything, dumbass.
[no. no, no, no.
he's trying to fight it, even as his shoulders start shaking lightly. he's been-- burying all that deep. just at the live, he told Glory basically his whole life story.
like it didn't matter.
but then all it took was another instance of the joker's laughter ringing in his head and he lets out a choked cry of anguish, a half swallowed sob as he tries to throw all of that back into the tight box that it had been in.
but there's another choked sound, and he closes his eyes tightly.
but it's too late to stop the tears from flowing.]
Three weeks i-is a fourth... of the t-time I've been here.
he's trying to fight it, even as his shoulders start shaking lightly. he's been-- burying all that deep. just at the live, he told Glory basically his whole life story.
like it didn't matter.
but then all it took was another instance of the joker's laughter ringing in his head and he lets out a choked cry of anguish, a half swallowed sob as he tries to throw all of that back into the tight box that it had been in.
but there's another choked sound, and he closes his eyes tightly.
but it's too late to stop the tears from flowing.]
Three weeks i-is a fourth... of the t-time I've been here.
[Nero doesn't say anything. He just pulls Jason against his chest and wraps his arms protectively around him, letting him cry it out. He curls in himself to rest his own cheek against Jason's head, and strokes his hair softly to try and soothe the demons echoing in his head.
No, not demons. A human, somehow, by some grotesque definition of the word.]
No, not demons. A human, somehow, by some grotesque definition of the word.]
Edited 2020-06-28 10:13 (UTC)
[it's easy to pull Jason in. he practically crumbles-- and the lack of a response for him to push back against just gives more space for the sobs and the tears, leaving his chest wet, and his breaths coming out in aching puffs.
he hates falling apart. the feeling is awful, and he doesn't ever know if he'll get catharsis or if it'll always be like this.
his head screaming in pain, his breath struggling to come in even cadences and his eyes burning from the tears. he's useless against nero, and his mind is empty of everything but the lingering feelings from that memory.
the hopelessness and-- the feeling of being utterly, completely alone.]
he hates falling apart. the feeling is awful, and he doesn't ever know if he'll get catharsis or if it'll always be like this.
his head screaming in pain, his breath struggling to come in even cadences and his eyes burning from the tears. he's useless against nero, and his mind is empty of everything but the lingering feelings from that memory.
the hopelessness and-- the feeling of being utterly, completely alone.]
[The harder Jason sobs, so brokenly and utterly bereft of any defense, the tighter Nero holds onto him - protective, his knuckles going white as he dug in. The rage he felt against Jason's world right now, how fucking unfair it was that it did this to him...
He wanted so badly to take him away from it all. To be the one to save him, for once, even if it meant... no, no matter what. He couldn't lose Jason to that toxic place, where he'd just be alone. Let down again.
It hurt to think about.
...It takes a moment for Nero to register that his own vision was going blurry, too. He blinks, and that small movement breaks the tension - a tear streaks down his face, and then another.]
Ah...?
He wanted so badly to take him away from it all. To be the one to save him, for once, even if it meant... no, no matter what. He couldn't lose Jason to that toxic place, where he'd just be alone. Let down again.
It hurt to think about.
...It takes a moment for Nero to register that his own vision was going blurry, too. He blinks, and that small movement breaks the tension - a tear streaks down his face, and then another.]
Ah...?
[nero's tight grip is enough to remind him, unlike three weeks ago, he wasn't alone. even if that reminder was distant. it was still something to cling to. slowly, shakily, his hand grabs at nero's sleeves.
and he tries, to fight his breathing under control. to gather his strength and to knuckle down, but it's hard.
he fails. til he knows he has the hiccups. til he knows that his face is a mixture of tears and snot and-- the last thing he wants anyone to see. but a sign that it still happened, that he broke apart at the slightest urging. three weeks should have been enough. he shouldn't still be feeling like he was 15.
he slowly starts to pull away, his sobs halfway bitten back. the only giveaway was the occasional hiccup.
let him be strong. cool and collected. the untouchable one.]
and he tries, to fight his breathing under control. to gather his strength and to knuckle down, but it's hard.
he fails. til he knows he has the hiccups. til he knows that his face is a mixture of tears and snot and-- the last thing he wants anyone to see. but a sign that it still happened, that he broke apart at the slightest urging. three weeks should have been enough. he shouldn't still be feeling like he was 15.
he slowly starts to pull away, his sobs halfway bitten back. the only giveaway was the occasional hiccup.
let him be strong. cool and collected. the untouchable one.]
[Nero takes the opening to try and wipe the stray tears from his own face, as a Feint pulls out of his back to grab some towels. It was an onsen, after all, so...
After a moment, a damp towel drops onto Jason's head from above, covering his face.]
...Sorry. I didn't mean t'splash water on you. That was-- clumsy of me.
After a moment, a damp towel drops onto Jason's head from above, covering his face.]
...Sorry. I didn't mean t'splash water on you. That was-- clumsy of me.
[he knows it's bullshit. but he pulls the towel further over his face, fully pulling away so he can just start to clean up.
anyone from Bad End could find him here and he didn't want to deal with the questions.]
Mmm...
[he forces his breathing under control, fighting back hiccups]
Thanks. For the towel.
anyone from Bad End could find him here and he didn't want to deal with the questions.]
Mmm...
[he forces his breathing under control, fighting back hiccups]
Thanks. For the towel.
...No problem.
[He's quiet, otherwise. Just leans down to lightly splash some water on his face from the onsen - and if some got on his already gross shirt, masking the tear stains, well. That was surely a coincidence.]
[He's quiet, otherwise. Just leans down to lightly splash some water on his face from the onsen - and if some got on his already gross shirt, masking the tear stains, well. That was surely a coincidence.]
[he wants to. get out of there.
and so he wipes his face and then starts to stand up. He doesn't know where he wants to go-- but not there.
maybe he just... wants to be alone. he glances at Nero, watching him cover for the mess he'd made, quietly contemplating.]
and so he wipes his face and then starts to stand up. He doesn't know where he wants to go-- but not there.
maybe he just... wants to be alone. he glances at Nero, watching him cover for the mess he'd made, quietly contemplating.]
[Nero scrambles to get up when Jason stands, not wanting to be farther from him than necessary. Wrings some of the water out of his clothes, and rolls down his pant leg.
Adamantly,]
I'm not leaving you alone.
Adamantly,]
I'm not leaving you alone.
Aren't you at your limit?
[he pulls the towel off of his head and lets it drape on the ground. his face is red, but the hiccups have stopped, and his breathing seems to be approaching back to normal.]
[he pulls the towel off of his head and lets it drape on the ground. his face is red, but the hiccups have stopped, and his breathing seems to be approaching back to normal.]
I don't care.
[That's the first thing out of his mouth, on pure instinct.]
[That's the first thing out of his mouth, on pure instinct.]
Yes you do. I'm not going to have you freak avante out over me.
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