I think-- well, I think that's okay t'put in a song. Y'know, the feeling of not knowing how to say it. Music's more than just words on a page that you read.
[His face softens as he looks down at his sketchbook.]
I get that too. Most of these haikus are me just... tryin' to come to terms that it's even real.
It almost feels like cheating to just say that, though?
[She bites her lip- glancing at the bare snippets in her own notebook.]
You know... I've been a little jealous of you. Really happy too, and glad she has somebody so nice but... it's not that I mind having somebody else love her, but you're so, I mean, you're a really great person, and I've hurt her, and I can be pretty selfish and bad at reading the mood and... I'm happy for you and her, but I'm afraid that she'll never really love me back. That one day she'll realize I'm not worth it. But, ah, I just worry about everything. That's how I am. It's how she is too, so be mindful of that, and take care of her.
I... really don't think I'm anywhere near as good as you're makin' me out to be. I've made her cry, for fuck's sake. I'm just as selfish.
'Cause in the end, I'm just stupid and reckless - even when I know she'll worry, I just stop thinking and let my blood run wild. And now I just straight up turn into a demon gone berserk - one that hurts her - when she needs me most.
She's the reason I even learned how t'be kind. I've never thought for a single moment that I deserve someone like her.
...Sorry to bring all of this up. I, ah- I remember you telling me about some of that, and, ah, I saw what happened to you. This too is me being self-absorbed, isn't it? I just, um, really doubt myself, and hate myself sometimes and I've hurt her with my inability to communicate and, ah, we're taking it a little slow trying to rebuild things, but I'm afraid I'll mess it up again and I'll be all alone because I'll drive off everybody.
S-Sorry again, I... I don't know where this came from. I just had to get it off my chest to you, that I felt that, that I'm scared that you'll have her and I won't at all, but- still, you're my friend too.
[Griffin looks her straight in the eye, because he wants her to know he's speaking from the heart:]
Hey. Lionness-- I wanted t'do this song with you because I want her t'have you. There's no version of this where I'm just gonna let you beat yourself up over shit that might not ever happen.
You spend too long staring at yourself, you're gonna miss all the moments you should've spent holdin' onto those important things in your life. After they took Harpy, all I could think was... the fuck was I doin', letting her think I hated her for so long? Why didn't I spend more time with her, or get that rematch?
Maybe things'll fuck up in the future. I dunno. Or maybe she'll be gone tomorrow and you'll hate yourself even more for bein' too scared to ever act. Doesn't matter if it's awkward and you fumble the whole thing, it's better than waiting forever t'be perfect and missing the chance.
Yeah, um- I'm trying to do better about this. I mean, the fact that I'm telling you this means, ah, I am making progress about, uh, all of this, even if this must be really awkward. I feel like, you had a right to know, even if it must seem like I'm just forcing all of these strange feelings onto you. I, ah, I really hate myself sometimes, but I can't just sit around and let that stop me from noticing the world around me, and actually taking part in it.
But, um, you're right. It hurts so much to lose people, and even more to have never had the opportunities to have done the things you want. To tell people how you feel. And, ah, love is not just for the past and the future, but for the present.
Well... I guess I appreciate that you can share it. I mean you've mentioned some stuff before, but, uh. I didn't think you felt that bad, stacked up against me.
I guess 'cause... if we have the same goal, it just makes sense we'd be on the same side. This shitty place pits us against each other enough. And it's not built t'let us trust each other, but--
Trust Shrike when she says she cares. Trust me when I say I'm on your side.
I think that, um, I feel bad next to just about anybody. The thing about the monstrous part of me, maybe compared to yours is, ah, mine is cruel. It's bitter and spiteful. It's hurting and wants everybody else to hurt and I don't think it's really seperate from who I am deep down, so I just, um. Well, I'm getting off topic here. But it's not your fault, or anything, it's just how I am.
I know. And, I didn't mean to suggest that we didn't. Trust comes difficult to me sometimes, or maybe I should say faith. But I know that, right now, you're not lying to me, and, we can do this thing together for this wonderful person.
[There's nothing he can really do to fix this feeling in her, not when it's so entwined with who she is. But it doesn't satisfy him just sitting back and ignoring it, either.
After a moment, he draws up his Spotify playlist, and turns on the bluetooth receiver. His portable speakers come to life, and he queues up a song. Hands Sekhmet the phone, with the lyrics. Makeshift karaoke.]
Why don't we just get some inspiration t'start? Maybe belting out some tunes will help get the juices flowing.
[after a moment, she joins him, singing in her very un-Thom Yorke voice at the verse, and when the chorus comes back around, she's wailing it almost as loud as he is from her small waif-y lungs.]
[Sekhmet sings the rest of the song with him, though she tapers off a bit in gusto, content to let him pour his heart into this song. She doesn't think it's probably what he actually feels, or not precisely, but she can tell he puts a lot of heart into it.
Their song will be wonderful.]
Um, a-alright, I think I have an idea.
[It has to be something to prepare her emotionally. To get her to clear her mind, to set her feelings in order. Yes. She knows the one.]
[After fumbling around with the device a bit, the song starts with a melancholy piano riff. And Sekhmet sings along, about loneliness and despair, anxiety and fear and powerlessness. And a desperate, yearning love to sublimate these feelings, wishing for an eternal love that can never exist.
She gets into the song immediately, her voice strong and clear, and by the chorus, she is giving it her all, her voice shaking with emotion.]
Every now and then I fall apart! And I need you now tonight! And I need you more than ever! And if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever! And we'll only be making it right 'Cause we'll never be wrong Together we can take it to the edge of the night, your love is like a shadow on me all of the time!
[Her voice is somehow strong and fragile at the same time, and tears are forming in her eyes. This isn't like the last song, because so many of her feelings towards Shrike, towards love in general are in it.]
[This song is definitely not in his range, but that doesn't mean Griffin isn't gonna give his all into hitting the notes as her back up]
ALL OF THE TIIIME~
[Tears in her eyes or no, he's just glad she looks like she's having fun. Really expressing herself. He gets up, gesturing to her like he's on stage, singing this duet for her--]
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark, We're livin' in a powder keg and givin' off sparks~~!
I really need you tonight, forever's gonna start tonight!
[Her voice is more soft and melancholy now, cracked with emotion.]
Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart. There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart. Once upon a time, there was light in my life, now there's only love in the dark. Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart.
[But the power returns for the second chorus, to the point that she's starting to fully cry halfway through, her voice raw with emotion. Despair. Love. Feeling lost. It's all the feelings she needs to get out.
By the time the song ends, she sinks to her knees, still in tears.]
S-Sorry. I got a bit... um. I showed too much, there, huh?
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Re: 168 morning!!!
Still, that was fucking cool. I only know a few chords right now--
[He strums an E minor, then an A and A minor that he picked up from the app.]
Re: 168 morning!!!
Re: 168 morning!!!
Why don't we just focus on writing, for now?
Re: 168 morning!!!
I want them to be write. I want it to really convey how I feel, how important she is to me. I-I... I really love her. It's hard to put into words.
Re: 168 morning!!!
[His face softens as he looks down at his sketchbook.]
I get that too. Most of these haikus are me just... tryin' to come to terms that it's even real.
Re: 168 morning!!!
[She bites her lip- glancing at the bare snippets in her own notebook.]
You know... I've been a little jealous of you. Really happy too, and glad she has somebody so nice but... it's not that I mind having somebody else love her, but you're so, I mean, you're a really great person, and I've hurt her, and I can be pretty selfish and bad at reading the mood and... I'm happy for you and her, but I'm afraid that she'll never really love me back. That one day she'll realize I'm not worth it. But, ah, I just worry about everything. That's how I am. It's how she is too, so be mindful of that, and take care of her.
Re: 168 morning!!!
'Cause in the end, I'm just stupid and reckless - even when I know she'll worry, I just stop thinking and let my blood run wild. And now I just straight up turn into a demon gone berserk - one that hurts her - when she needs me most.
She's the reason I even learned how t'be kind. I've never thought for a single moment that I deserve someone like her.
Re: 168 morning!!!
S-Sorry again, I... I don't know where this came from. I just had to get it off my chest to you, that I felt that, that I'm scared that you'll have her and I won't at all, but- still, you're my friend too.
Re: 168 morning!!!
Hey. Lionness-- I wanted t'do this song with you because I want her t'have you. There's no version of this where I'm just gonna let you beat yourself up over shit that might not ever happen.
You spend too long staring at yourself, you're gonna miss all the moments you should've spent holdin' onto those important things in your life. After they took Harpy, all I could think was... the fuck was I doin', letting her think I hated her for so long? Why didn't I spend more time with her, or get that rematch?
Maybe things'll fuck up in the future. I dunno. Or maybe she'll be gone tomorrow and you'll hate yourself even more for bein' too scared to ever act. Doesn't matter if it's awkward and you fumble the whole thing, it's better than waiting forever t'be perfect and missing the chance.
Re: 168 morning!!!
But, um, you're right. It hurts so much to lose people, and even more to have never had the opportunities to have done the things you want. To tell people how you feel. And, ah, love is not just for the past and the future, but for the present.
Re: 168 morning!!!
I guess 'cause... if we have the same goal, it just makes sense we'd be on the same side. This shitty place pits us against each other enough. And it's not built t'let us trust each other, but--
Trust Shrike when she says she cares. Trust me when I say I'm on your side.
Re: 168 morning!!!
I know. And, I didn't mean to suggest that we didn't. Trust comes difficult to me sometimes, or maybe I should say faith. But I know that, right now, you're not lying to me, and, we can do this thing together for this wonderful person.
Re: 168 morning!!!
[There's nothing he can really do to fix this feeling in her, not when it's so entwined with who she is. But it doesn't satisfy him just sitting back and ignoring it, either.
After a moment, he draws up his Spotify playlist, and turns on the bluetooth receiver. His portable speakers come to life, and he queues up a song. Hands Sekhmet the phone, with the lyrics. Makeshift karaoke.]
Why don't we just get some inspiration t'start? Maybe belting out some tunes will help get the juices flowing.
[A slow drum beat starts, with melancholy guitars.]
Re: 168 morning!!!
[She starts to sing along, but after a few lines...]
I sympathize greatly with the feelings of the song, but, ah, I'm not writing one like this to Shrike, it's rather too... hm.
Re: 168 morning!!!
You can't make music bein' self-conscious. Like this--
[Griffin joins in as the guitars pick up and belts out, from the pit of his guts,]
I wish I was special... so FUCKING SPECIAAAAL--!
'CAUSE I'M A CREEEEP, I'M A LOSERRR... What the hell'm I doing here??? I don't belong here...!
[Joooin him]
Re: 168 morning!!!
'Cause I'm a Creeeeeeeeep
Re: 168 morning!!!
Sheeeee's ruuuunning out the doooor~
Sheeeee's running,
She run, rUN, RUN, RUUUUUNNNNN...!!!
[When the song ends, he beams at her, excited to keep going]
Now you pick the next one!
1/2
Their song will be wonderful.]
Um, a-alright, I think I have an idea.
[It has to be something to prepare her emotionally. To get her to clear her mind, to set her feelings in order. Yes. She knows the one.]
Re: 168 morning!!!
She gets into the song immediately, her voice strong and clear, and by the chorus, she is giving it her all, her voice shaking with emotion.]
Every now and then I fall apart!
And I need you now tonight!
And I need you more than ever!
And if you only hold me tight,
we'll be holding on forever!
And we'll only be making it right
'Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the edge of the night,
your love is like a shadow on me all of the time!
[Her voice is somehow strong and fragile at the same time, and tears are forming in her eyes. This isn't like the last song, because so many of her feelings towards Shrike, towards love in general are in it.]
Re: 168 morning!!!
[This song is definitely not in his range, but that doesn't mean Griffin isn't gonna give his all into hitting the notes as her back up]
ALL OF THE TIIIME~
[Tears in her eyes or no, he's just glad she looks like she's having fun. Really expressing herself. He gets up, gesturing to her like he's on stage, singing this duet for her--]
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark,
We're livin' in a powder keg and givin' off sparks~~!
Re: 168 morning!!!
forever's gonna start tonight!
[Her voice is more soft and melancholy now, cracked with emotion.]
Once upon a time I was falling in love,
but now I'm only falling apart.
There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.
Once upon a time, there was light in my life,
now there's only love in the dark.
Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart.
[But the power returns for the second chorus, to the point that she's starting to fully cry halfway through, her voice raw with emotion. Despair. Love. Feeling lost. It's all the feelings she needs to get out.
By the time the song ends, she sinks to her knees, still in tears.]
S-Sorry. I got a bit... um. I showed too much, there, huh?