...must'a missed it. I made a bunch'a stupid ones, myself, so I was too busy paying the price from on the floor to notice. [ she looks down at herself for a half second. ] I'm still sore AF all over.
[ takes the next turn a little too sharp, but otherwise it's all good in the hood. ]
I got stabbed and burned in one heart. And, well, you were there in Hurricanes. I was a tank, so I took a bunch of hits. I wasn't the most agile in my armor, which I... blew up at one point. [ she rubs the back of her neck. ] In another I shot a rocket launcher in close range and really fucked myself up. And in another I stabbed myself, since it made me stronger, because I had to fight something, so... yeah, got pretty messed up there.
And we didn't win, so now I'm just feeling all of that at once. No bruises or wounds or anything, but everything just... hurts. [ it's constant pain and all she wants to do is cry, but crying is for people that aren't her, so no. ]
[Jeez. He's quiet as he takes it all in, glancing over at her with distant concern. Distant, because it seemed like D.Va was the one who got hurt, but he... was very much the one who did all the hurting.]
Four hearts. Shit.
[He breathes out, staring at the road ahead.] Does SensitIV's numbing trick work at all for that?
...five. I, surprisingly, didn't get fucked up in Shrike's. [ she hits the gas as soon as she reaches the highway. ] And Lucifel numbed me a bit, but it already wore off. [ she sighs. ] I wish people would have told me beforehand not to, like, touch shit in people's hearts, because I think I erased myself from a... from a... friend... [ swallows. ] Apparently this is the second time they've done this. I'm getting real sick of fucking up, y'know?
I mean, look at what we did in Hurricane's heart. I feel like... I feel like something happened to me there too, but I couldn't be sure. I heard so many stupid whispers, and not!Intensity had warned us against the head games those stupid fucks couple play, but I'm pretty sure I fell to that shit too.
[ she looks at him out of the corner of her eye. ] How did you do that? And hey - [ nudges him. ] you're not the only one that lost it. I found someone that hurt someone I... I really care about and, well, I took care of them.
I think it might depend on the person, er, the heart... Or... I don't know, nevermind... [ she just trails off and into a sigh. ]
But, like I said, I haven't found out how things turned out yet. But now I'm scared. I touched the stuff in a locker in one heart and I guess they'd represented relationships and, by doing so, and removing the stuff, I removed every trace of myself. I didn't even have to kill anybody. I... [ she feels her eyes tear. ] But I did the same. I found this person, this bitch, and she even tried to sweet talk me, but I wasn't having it, I wanted to just erase her, so I do so even though it meant getting hurt...
I didn't care.
But god only knows what that did.
[ she's eased off the gas at this point, so the car has slowly been on its way to a stop. ]
He does. I mean, like, he freaked a bit to learn that people were in his heart, but who wouldn't. But he's okay. And I'm glad to hear Shrike is too. I don't think I fucked up Intensity at all. [ but, tbf, he was already pretty fucked up. ]
Intensity's heart kind of did the same to me. He told me that constantly getting hurt didn't help anybody or anything, and that it only hurt everybody... and that... yeah, I... [ she trails off and into a sigh. ]
I don't know.
I can't chance who I am. I'm not even sure if I'm capable of being... better...
Reckless is, like, kind of my... everything... [ hands her head a bit. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Red Bull gives you wings: Where should I meet you
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
ill grb a cr n meet u thr
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
[He doesn't even dive off the balcony to get outside. Just takes the elevator.]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
...hey. [ after she rolls down the window. ]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
He goes over to the passenger side and lets himself in without much aplomb.]
Yo.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
so now they can jet that much quicker. ]
[ as soon as he's inside she takes off. ]
I didn't see you in endgame... that good, huh? [ grips the steering wheel. ] Sorry. We can talk about something else. Not sure... what though...
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Least you also didn't see the crowd of people chewing out my dumb mistakes.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
[ takes the next turn a little too sharp, but otherwise it's all good in the hood. ]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
That bad, huh... what else happened?
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
And we didn't win, so now I'm just feeling all of that at once. No bruises or wounds or anything, but everything just... hurts. [ it's constant pain and all she wants to do is cry, but crying is for people that aren't her, so no. ]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Four hearts. Shit.
[He breathes out, staring at the road ahead.] Does SensitIV's numbing trick work at all for that?
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
I'm glad I'm not the only fuck-up, then.
I wiped part of someone's memory too. 'Cept I was warned, and I... just lost it.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Not at all.
I mean, look at what we did in Hurricane's heart. I feel like... I feel like something happened to me there too, but I couldn't be sure. I heard so many stupid whispers, and not!Intensity had warned us against the head games those stupid fucks couple play, but I'm pretty sure I fell to that shit too.
[ she looks at him out of the corner of her eye. ] How did you do that? And hey - [ nudges him. ] you're not the only one that lost it. I found someone that hurt someone I... I really care about and, well, I took care of them.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
I crushed that psycho's head to pulp in my hands. In the moment it felt... really good. Just relief. Things were over, it was safe now.
Then I realized I just destroyed a piece of that heart.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Or... I don't know, nevermind... [ she just trails off and into a sigh. ]
But, like I said, I haven't found out how things turned out yet. But now I'm scared. I touched the stuff in a locker in one heart and I guess they'd represented relationships and, by doing so, and removing the stuff, I removed every trace of myself. I didn't even have to kill anybody. I... [ she feels her eyes tear. ] But I did the same. I found this person, this bitch, and she even tried to sweet talk me, but I wasn't having it, I wanted to just erase her, so I do so even though it meant getting hurt...
I didn't care.
But god only knows what that did.
[ she's eased off the gas at this point, so the car has slowly been on its way to a stop. ]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
...
[Eventually, quietly,]
I wish we could go back and fix things.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
M- Me too. [ she swings her legs up and tucks them under herself. ] I wouldn't move from the start of the heart. I wouldn't touch anything.
I hate this.
I hate everything.
Why did this have to happen to us?
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
[His hand limply dangles out the car window now]
...We had to have helped somewhere, right? Freckles-- Hurricane seems okay. Shrike seems happy?
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
He does. I mean, like, he freaked a bit to learn that people were in his heart, but who wouldn't. But he's okay. And I'm glad to hear Shrike is too. I don't think I fucked up Intensity at all. [ but, tbf, he was already pretty fucked up. ]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Wouldn't be a Game unless some people made it out fine, and the rest got completely fucked up.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
[ smushes the heels of her palms into her eyes to wipe the tears away. ]
Fuck the Producers.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
...Talon's heart marched up t'me and lectured me on being stupid, thoughtless and dangerous. That I had to be better.
How do-- people like us, how do we just.
Stop... being reckless?
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
I don't know.
I can't chance who I am.
I'm not even sure if I'm capable of being... better...
Reckless is, like, kind of my... everything... [ hands her head a bit. ]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Talon said I was hiding behind demon blood as an excuse. But it's-- there are things that're just wired into me.
Thinking about it feels like suffocating.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.