I think-- well, I think that's okay t'put in a song. Y'know, the feeling of not knowing how to say it. Music's more than just words on a page that you read.
[His face softens as he looks down at his sketchbook.]
I get that too. Most of these haikus are me just... tryin' to come to terms that it's even real.
It almost feels like cheating to just say that, though?
[She bites her lip- glancing at the bare snippets in her own notebook.]
You know... I've been a little jealous of you. Really happy too, and glad she has somebody so nice but... it's not that I mind having somebody else love her, but you're so, I mean, you're a really great person, and I've hurt her, and I can be pretty selfish and bad at reading the mood and... I'm happy for you and her, but I'm afraid that she'll never really love me back. That one day she'll realize I'm not worth it. But, ah, I just worry about everything. That's how I am. It's how she is too, so be mindful of that, and take care of her.
I... really don't think I'm anywhere near as good as you're makin' me out to be. I've made her cry, for fuck's sake. I'm just as selfish.
'Cause in the end, I'm just stupid and reckless - even when I know she'll worry, I just stop thinking and let my blood run wild. And now I just straight up turn into a demon gone berserk - one that hurts her - when she needs me most.
She's the reason I even learned how t'be kind. I've never thought for a single moment that I deserve someone like her.
...Sorry to bring all of this up. I, ah- I remember you telling me about some of that, and, ah, I saw what happened to you. This too is me being self-absorbed, isn't it? I just, um, really doubt myself, and hate myself sometimes and I've hurt her with my inability to communicate and, ah, we're taking it a little slow trying to rebuild things, but I'm afraid I'll mess it up again and I'll be all alone because I'll drive off everybody.
S-Sorry again, I... I don't know where this came from. I just had to get it off my chest to you, that I felt that, that I'm scared that you'll have her and I won't at all, but- still, you're my friend too.
[Griffin looks her straight in the eye, because he wants her to know he's speaking from the heart:]
Hey. Lionness-- I wanted t'do this song with you because I want her t'have you. There's no version of this where I'm just gonna let you beat yourself up over shit that might not ever happen.
You spend too long staring at yourself, you're gonna miss all the moments you should've spent holdin' onto those important things in your life. After they took Harpy, all I could think was... the fuck was I doin', letting her think I hated her for so long? Why didn't I spend more time with her, or get that rematch?
Maybe things'll fuck up in the future. I dunno. Or maybe she'll be gone tomorrow and you'll hate yourself even more for bein' too scared to ever act. Doesn't matter if it's awkward and you fumble the whole thing, it's better than waiting forever t'be perfect and missing the chance.
Yeah, um- I'm trying to do better about this. I mean, the fact that I'm telling you this means, ah, I am making progress about, uh, all of this, even if this must be really awkward. I feel like, you had a right to know, even if it must seem like I'm just forcing all of these strange feelings onto you. I, ah, I really hate myself sometimes, but I can't just sit around and let that stop me from noticing the world around me, and actually taking part in it.
But, um, you're right. It hurts so much to lose people, and even more to have never had the opportunities to have done the things you want. To tell people how you feel. And, ah, love is not just for the past and the future, but for the present.
Well... I guess I appreciate that you can share it. I mean you've mentioned some stuff before, but, uh. I didn't think you felt that bad, stacked up against me.
I guess 'cause... if we have the same goal, it just makes sense we'd be on the same side. This shitty place pits us against each other enough. And it's not built t'let us trust each other, but--
Trust Shrike when she says she cares. Trust me when I say I'm on your side.
I think that, um, I feel bad next to just about anybody. The thing about the monstrous part of me, maybe compared to yours is, ah, mine is cruel. It's bitter and spiteful. It's hurting and wants everybody else to hurt and I don't think it's really seperate from who I am deep down, so I just, um. Well, I'm getting off topic here. But it's not your fault, or anything, it's just how I am.
I know. And, I didn't mean to suggest that we didn't. Trust comes difficult to me sometimes, or maybe I should say faith. But I know that, right now, you're not lying to me, and, we can do this thing together for this wonderful person.
[There's nothing he can really do to fix this feeling in her, not when it's so entwined with who she is. But it doesn't satisfy him just sitting back and ignoring it, either.
After a moment, he draws up his Spotify playlist, and turns on the bluetooth receiver. His portable speakers come to life, and he queues up a song. Hands Sekhmet the phone, with the lyrics. Makeshift karaoke.]
Why don't we just get some inspiration t'start? Maybe belting out some tunes will help get the juices flowing.
[after a moment, she joins him, singing in her very un-Thom Yorke voice at the verse, and when the chorus comes back around, she's wailing it almost as loud as he is from her small waif-y lungs.]
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Re: 168 morning!!!
Re: 168 morning!!!
1/3
2/3
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Re: 168 morning!!!
Dude! I love that song!!
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Re: 168 morning!!!
Can you do We Will Rock You?
Re: 168 morning!!!
I'd need to practice that one, anyway.
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Still, that was fucking cool. I only know a few chords right now--
[He strums an E minor, then an A and A minor that he picked up from the app.]
Re: 168 morning!!!
Re: 168 morning!!!
Why don't we just focus on writing, for now?
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I want them to be write. I want it to really convey how I feel, how important she is to me. I-I... I really love her. It's hard to put into words.
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[His face softens as he looks down at his sketchbook.]
I get that too. Most of these haikus are me just... tryin' to come to terms that it's even real.
Re: 168 morning!!!
[She bites her lip- glancing at the bare snippets in her own notebook.]
You know... I've been a little jealous of you. Really happy too, and glad she has somebody so nice but... it's not that I mind having somebody else love her, but you're so, I mean, you're a really great person, and I've hurt her, and I can be pretty selfish and bad at reading the mood and... I'm happy for you and her, but I'm afraid that she'll never really love me back. That one day she'll realize I'm not worth it. But, ah, I just worry about everything. That's how I am. It's how she is too, so be mindful of that, and take care of her.
Re: 168 morning!!!
'Cause in the end, I'm just stupid and reckless - even when I know she'll worry, I just stop thinking and let my blood run wild. And now I just straight up turn into a demon gone berserk - one that hurts her - when she needs me most.
She's the reason I even learned how t'be kind. I've never thought for a single moment that I deserve someone like her.
Re: 168 morning!!!
S-Sorry again, I... I don't know where this came from. I just had to get it off my chest to you, that I felt that, that I'm scared that you'll have her and I won't at all, but- still, you're my friend too.
Re: 168 morning!!!
Hey. Lionness-- I wanted t'do this song with you because I want her t'have you. There's no version of this where I'm just gonna let you beat yourself up over shit that might not ever happen.
You spend too long staring at yourself, you're gonna miss all the moments you should've spent holdin' onto those important things in your life. After they took Harpy, all I could think was... the fuck was I doin', letting her think I hated her for so long? Why didn't I spend more time with her, or get that rematch?
Maybe things'll fuck up in the future. I dunno. Or maybe she'll be gone tomorrow and you'll hate yourself even more for bein' too scared to ever act. Doesn't matter if it's awkward and you fumble the whole thing, it's better than waiting forever t'be perfect and missing the chance.
Re: 168 morning!!!
But, um, you're right. It hurts so much to lose people, and even more to have never had the opportunities to have done the things you want. To tell people how you feel. And, ah, love is not just for the past and the future, but for the present.
Re: 168 morning!!!
I guess 'cause... if we have the same goal, it just makes sense we'd be on the same side. This shitty place pits us against each other enough. And it's not built t'let us trust each other, but--
Trust Shrike when she says she cares. Trust me when I say I'm on your side.
Re: 168 morning!!!
I know. And, I didn't mean to suggest that we didn't. Trust comes difficult to me sometimes, or maybe I should say faith. But I know that, right now, you're not lying to me, and, we can do this thing together for this wonderful person.
Re: 168 morning!!!
[There's nothing he can really do to fix this feeling in her, not when it's so entwined with who she is. But it doesn't satisfy him just sitting back and ignoring it, either.
After a moment, he draws up his Spotify playlist, and turns on the bluetooth receiver. His portable speakers come to life, and he queues up a song. Hands Sekhmet the phone, with the lyrics. Makeshift karaoke.]
Why don't we just get some inspiration t'start? Maybe belting out some tunes will help get the juices flowing.
[A slow drum beat starts, with melancholy guitars.]
Re: 168 morning!!!
[She starts to sing along, but after a few lines...]
I sympathize greatly with the feelings of the song, but, ah, I'm not writing one like this to Shrike, it's rather too... hm.
Re: 168 morning!!!
You can't make music bein' self-conscious. Like this--
[Griffin joins in as the guitars pick up and belts out, from the pit of his guts,]
I wish I was special... so FUCKING SPECIAAAAL--!
'CAUSE I'M A CREEEEP, I'M A LOSERRR... What the hell'm I doing here??? I don't belong here...!
[Joooin him]
Re: 168 morning!!!
'Cause I'm a Creeeeeeeeep
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1/2
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Re: 168 morning!!!
Re: 168 morning!!!