[Griffin sighs and pulls a leg up to fold his arms over the knee.]
I've told Talon this, but I really can't care about people I don't know. I just don't feel anything. Maybe it's a demon thing. Maybe I'm just not a good person.
I care about Talon because you care about Talon.
[He shrugs,] And I guess he's a kid. Though I forget that with how he acts, sometimes.
Still kinda seems like you're doin' it because it's 'the right thing to do' or somethin'. Someone with your skillset could be doing a lotta other things.
[and he slowly, slowly pushes himself up-- the pain hasn't gone away. at all. but maybe moving will help, even if he feels like he's going to collapse.]
Maybe the first time, you can excuse it.
But at some point, a fuckup proves they're going to stay a fuckup. You can't give second chances to everyone.
[he hisses through his teeth, unable to help favoring one side.]
You wanna make right with Talon? You're not wrong. Despite it all, I care about that brat. Guess the joke's on me, that he was right. I want this now.
['Fuckup' makes Griffin look away, self-conscious - even if he was aware that Jason was referring to himself, as well. But when he hears the other man hiss, his head jerks back and he tries to help shoulder Jason's weight, concerned.]
Don't push yourself yet--!
[...ah, wait. Huh? He blinks, feeling like he missed a part of the conversation somewhere.]
[though he's grateful to have Griffin to lean on, and he exhales, a hint of frustration tinging the sound. he knows nothing is wrong, but it hurts anyway, and he just needs to get used to that.
not let it control him.
but then his eyes go to Griffin and that shocked face.]
There's a choked hitch of surprise in his throat when Jason kisses him but-- he closes his eyes, closes them and keeps them closed even when Jason parts, because otherwise that hot prickling in the corner of his vision was going to turn to tears, and he was not going to let that happen. Even as his face trembles and his breathing skids to a stop.]
[But after a second, his eyes blink open - they're wet, dazed - to take stock of Jason and maybe to make sure he was still real?
Before he just wraps both his arms around him and hefts him into a suffocating hug that lifts the taller man off the ground so he could bury his goddamn face in his chest and be too smothered to actually cry.]
[Nnnnnfffine. Griffin sets him down as gently as he's able, but he's still not letting go. Jason needed to lean on him for the pain, and... he just wanted to stay close. Even though his face was fully red and he was grimacing from embarrassment.]
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[that doesn't mean he should though]
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Hm. He really does know his anatomy...
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Probably because his mom drilled it in.
[now who's changing subjects.]
His real mom.
[he closes his eyes.]
... Did you really mean that? That you were just making nice with him for me?
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I've told Talon this, but I really can't care about people I don't know. I just don't feel anything. Maybe it's a demon thing. Maybe I'm just not a good person.
I care about Talon because you care about Talon.
[He shrugs,] And I guess he's a kid. Though I forget that with how he acts, sometimes.
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I guess I don't care about your reasoning. Just the results.
[if his brother doesn't get hurt, that's fine.]
Guess we're not that different.
[this is a lie. but it's one that he wants to believe.]
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I don't think anyone who actually runs around as a 'hero' doesn't care.
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I can tell you that much for certain. Even in my memories, I don't consider myself one.
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You don't even get paid. What kinda bullshit is that?
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[he pauses]
And I don't remember how I get my money, so you might wanna hold judgment on that one. Could be Talon's mom is paying me, too. Who knows.
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[LIFE IS UNFAIR]
Still kinda seems like you're doin' it because it's 'the right thing to do' or somethin'. Someone with your skillset could be doing a lotta other things.
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[he pauses for a second here, wincing just a bit, but pushes through it before Griffin can get a chance to interrupt]
That much is clear in about 90% of my memories. Whatever happened, I wouldn't assume my motivations and what I'm doing is the same as them.
[this hurts. he hates that it hurts, but he's just going to give a bitter smile into middle distance, not looking at Griffin.]
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...You wouldn't be upset about seeing'em die if you didn't care, though. Maybe that's more than they deserve from you.
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I was worried about what it'd do to Talon.
But their judgment's probably about as whack as my own. That much is true.
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You were upset.
I didn't realize at the time just how much. But you were.
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Not upset.
[what's the difference? probably very little. he pauses...]
Anyway, before we go off the deep end here, point being... I don't care about your reasoning. Just your actions.
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You're not wrong. Actions are all we're judged by. They're the only real impact that matters.
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But people want to hear the thought process.
[and he slowly, slowly pushes himself up-- the pain hasn't gone away. at all. but maybe moving will help, even if he feels like he's going to collapse.]
Maybe the first time, you can excuse it.
But at some point, a fuckup proves they're going to stay a fuckup. You can't give second chances to everyone.
[he hisses through his teeth, unable to help favoring one side.]
You wanna make right with Talon? You're not wrong. Despite it all, I care about that brat. Guess the joke's on me, that he was right. I want this now.
[he goes quiet, thoughtful.]
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Don't push yourself yet--!
[...ah, wait. Huh? He blinks, feeling like he missed a part of the conversation somewhere.]
Want what...?
1/3
[he pauses.]
A little brother, whatever.
[though he's grateful to have Griffin to lean on, and he exhales, a hint of frustration tinging the sound. he knows nothing is wrong, but it hurts anyway, and he just needs to get used to that.
not let it control him.
but then his eyes go to Griffin and that shocked face.]
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he thought something different.
and jason pauses, considering.
hell.
he'd thought something different.]
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and he leans down to kiss him, briefly]
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Griffin wasn't expecting that.
There's a choked hitch of surprise in his throat when Jason kisses him but-- he closes his eyes, closes them and keeps them closed even when Jason parts, because otherwise that hot prickling in the corner of his vision was going to turn to tears, and he was not going to let that happen. Even as his face trembles and his breathing skids to a stop.]
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Before he just wraps both his arms around him and hefts him into a suffocating hug that lifts the taller man off the ground so he could bury his goddamn face in his chest and be too smothered to actually cry.]
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guess he's getting lifted, which doesn't help with the pain in his leg, but he can just grin and bear it, his hand bracing against his shoulder.]
Put me down.
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Y-you still need t'take it easy...
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