I mean, look at what we did in Hurricane's heart. I feel like... I feel like something happened to me there too, but I couldn't be sure. I heard so many stupid whispers, and not!Intensity had warned us against the head games those stupid fucks couple play, but I'm pretty sure I fell to that shit too.
[ she looks at him out of the corner of her eye. ] How did you do that? And hey - [ nudges him. ] you're not the only one that lost it. I found someone that hurt someone I... I really care about and, well, I took care of them.
I think it might depend on the person, er, the heart... Or... I don't know, nevermind... [ she just trails off and into a sigh. ]
But, like I said, I haven't found out how things turned out yet. But now I'm scared. I touched the stuff in a locker in one heart and I guess they'd represented relationships and, by doing so, and removing the stuff, I removed every trace of myself. I didn't even have to kill anybody. I... [ she feels her eyes tear. ] But I did the same. I found this person, this bitch, and she even tried to sweet talk me, but I wasn't having it, I wanted to just erase her, so I do so even though it meant getting hurt...
I didn't care.
But god only knows what that did.
[ she's eased off the gas at this point, so the car has slowly been on its way to a stop. ]
He does. I mean, like, he freaked a bit to learn that people were in his heart, but who wouldn't. But he's okay. And I'm glad to hear Shrike is too. I don't think I fucked up Intensity at all. [ but, tbf, he was already pretty fucked up. ]
Intensity's heart kind of did the same to me. He told me that constantly getting hurt didn't help anybody or anything, and that it only hurt everybody... and that... yeah, I... [ she trails off and into a sigh. ]
I don't know.
I can't chance who I am. I'm not even sure if I'm capable of being... better...
Reckless is, like, kind of my... everything... [ hands her head a bit. ]
Being half demon is a part of who you are and there is nothing wrong with that. And, like, we're not perfect, ok, and people need to... understand that sometimes we're going to make mistakes. But it's not like we did what we did with the intent of fucking things up! We were trying to help. [ she slams her balls fists into the steering wheel. ] We were trying to help! Our hearts were in the right place!
He takes out his phone and hands it to her with the Spotify app open - he's got a number of albums, ranging from rock, metal, hip hop, top hits from the 90s and 00s. And of course there's infinite free idol albums they all have access to.]
It does, yep. [ so she'll connect his phone and scroll through his music. it doesn't take her long to find something she likes and, surprise?, it's metal. this feels like the mood for tonight, so let's blast it and speed around tokyo-f. ]
Griffin hits the acceleration and they're off. Heavy metal streams from the windows as they race at, well - not top speed, Griffin's feeling too melancholy to revel being behind the wheel. But it's still fast.
[ she keeps her legs sort of drawn onto the seat, her tail draped lazily around her waist as she listens to the music and watches the tokyo-f scenery pass them by out the front and side windows. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
I'm glad I'm not the only fuck-up, then.
I wiped part of someone's memory too. 'Cept I was warned, and I... just lost it.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Not at all.
I mean, look at what we did in Hurricane's heart. I feel like... I feel like something happened to me there too, but I couldn't be sure. I heard so many stupid whispers, and not!Intensity had warned us against the head games those stupid fucks couple play, but I'm pretty sure I fell to that shit too.
[ she looks at him out of the corner of her eye. ] How did you do that? And hey - [ nudges him. ] you're not the only one that lost it. I found someone that hurt someone I... I really care about and, well, I took care of them.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
I crushed that psycho's head to pulp in my hands. In the moment it felt... really good. Just relief. Things were over, it was safe now.
Then I realized I just destroyed a piece of that heart.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Or... I don't know, nevermind... [ she just trails off and into a sigh. ]
But, like I said, I haven't found out how things turned out yet. But now I'm scared. I touched the stuff in a locker in one heart and I guess they'd represented relationships and, by doing so, and removing the stuff, I removed every trace of myself. I didn't even have to kill anybody. I... [ she feels her eyes tear. ] But I did the same. I found this person, this bitch, and she even tried to sweet talk me, but I wasn't having it, I wanted to just erase her, so I do so even though it meant getting hurt...
I didn't care.
But god only knows what that did.
[ she's eased off the gas at this point, so the car has slowly been on its way to a stop. ]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
...
[Eventually, quietly,]
I wish we could go back and fix things.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
M- Me too. [ she swings her legs up and tucks them under herself. ] I wouldn't move from the start of the heart. I wouldn't touch anything.
I hate this.
I hate everything.
Why did this have to happen to us?
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
[His hand limply dangles out the car window now]
...We had to have helped somewhere, right? Freckles-- Hurricane seems okay. Shrike seems happy?
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
He does. I mean, like, he freaked a bit to learn that people were in his heart, but who wouldn't. But he's okay. And I'm glad to hear Shrike is too. I don't think I fucked up Intensity at all. [ but, tbf, he was already pretty fucked up. ]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Wouldn't be a Game unless some people made it out fine, and the rest got completely fucked up.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
[ smushes the heels of her palms into her eyes to wipe the tears away. ]
Fuck the Producers.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
...Talon's heart marched up t'me and lectured me on being stupid, thoughtless and dangerous. That I had to be better.
How do-- people like us, how do we just.
Stop... being reckless?
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
I don't know.
I can't chance who I am.
I'm not even sure if I'm capable of being... better...
Reckless is, like, kind of my... everything... [ hands her head a bit. ]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Talon said I was hiding behind demon blood as an excuse. But it's-- there are things that're just wired into me.
Thinking about it feels like suffocating.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
I don't think you're hiding behind anything.
Being half demon is a part of who you are and there is nothing wrong with that. And, like, we're not perfect, ok, and people need to... understand that sometimes we're going to make mistakes. But it's not like we did what we did with the intent of fucking things up! We were trying to help. [ she slams her balls fists into the steering wheel. ] We were trying to help! Our hearts were in the right place!
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
All people are gonna see are the results. They're not gonna care about anything else, other than what happened.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
I can let you take the wheel? You're one of the few people I actually fully trust with this car.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
How 'bout we just... take a drive by the ocean.
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
[ she’ll climb over him and into the passenger seat. ]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
He takes out his phone and hands it to her with the Spotify app open - he's got a number of albums, ranging from rock, metal, hip hop, top hits from the 90s and 00s. And of course there's infinite free idol albums they all have access to.]
This thing has bluetooth, right?
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
[
fuck the police!]Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.
Griffin hits the acceleration and they're off. Heavy metal streams from the windows as they race at, well - not top speed, Griffin's feeling too melancholy to revel being behind the wheel. But it's still fast.
Words aren't really needed right now.]
Re: day 208, post heart games sometime.